Opinions and discussion on content management and document management by two of the biggest guys in the business. *Measured by combined weight

Riding a Unicorn to ECM Xanadu

Author

Follow Marko

Follow Lee

Disclaimer

The opinions shared here represent those of the contributor themselves and not those of their employers nor that of Big Men On Content as a whole.

In case you missed it, we just hit the seven year itch with enterprise content management (ECM).  It is that time when the industry takes a look at itself and reevaluates the universe.  It usually starts with a brash statement that invokes a knee jerk reaction to change.  We listen to the promises of perfection. 

Suddenly we find ourselves riding a unicorn towards ECM Xanadu.  We pass signs that urge us to press on towards magical perfection.  Signs that somehow we feel we’ve read before.

In Xanadu – There Is No Paper
Magically we will stop using paper.  It will just disappear from all of our processes.  For instance in the U.S. we won’t have paper invoices in the accounts payable process.  The U.S. will also stop using faxes.  Yes, paper process will be completely eliminated in Xanadu.

In Xanadu – It Is All Fluffy Clouds & Butterflies
Managing documents can be a simple process. There’s no need to think of things like security, indexing, and records management. Xanadu can do that for you.  Just put them in the Xanadu and we will take care of everything.  When you need a document, it is right there. When you no longer need the document, it just disappears.

In Xanadu –We Know Everything About Your Content
There’s no need to think about where to put your content in Xanadu.  Just give it all to us and we’ll sort it all for you.  We’re experts in everything, including your industry and how you do business.  In Xanadu, we will auto-magically index your documents.  When you need a document you simply think about the document you want and there it is on any device from your laptop to your mobile device to your bathroom mirror.

You Arrive in ECM Xanadu

You pull off the trail and ride into Xanadu.  First you go drop off you unicorn rental.  Unfortunately their network is down, so you’ll have to enter everything manually on paper before they will take the unicorn back.  You make your way to reception.  You sign your contracts and are given the keys to your kingdom. 

You arrive in your castle and survey your surroundings.  Well it’s a little smaller than you imagined but you’re in Xanadu.  There’s a big manual on the desk that tells you exactly how you need to manage your processes in Xanadu.  In the corner you spot a fax machine.  The note beside it says to order groceries please use this form and send by fax.  Seems Xanadu Miracle Farms hasn’t connected to the internet just yet.

You turn around and find all of your content has filled the main room. Seems the labels on the boxes weren’t enough to help in the sorting so everything ended up in the first room. Well you can always get more space in Xanadu.  You call to the skies, “Kira. Please provision me 500 more  gigabytes of storage.” 

“Provisioning 500 gigabytes to ‘Memore’,” responds Kira.  Your new neighbor Memore calls thanking you for the extra space.  Memore just loves his neighbors. 

A knock at the door and a new paper bill from Xanadu Management is slipped under your door.  You would review your contract but it has already been deleted.

Reality hits.  Can this really be ECM Xanadu? Could marketing be wrong?  Have we made the wrong decision?  You now know you should have been gone to ECM Nirvana.  You call out, “Kira.  Please prepare my stuff for a move to ECM Nirvana.”

Kira responds, “We’re sorry to see you go.  Unfortunately there is a backlog to move your documents out of Xanadu.  Your move is scheduled for twelve months from now.” 

There’s another knock at the door.  It’s a new bill for 12-months of services from Xanadu management.

Categorised in: Enterprise Content Management, Humor

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: